26 Temmuz, 2007

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i used to be a good girl. that's why i'd sing "you can't keep a good girl down" but nowadays i just can't get up. apparently i'm blaming it all on your death. the energy you filled me up with every morning isn't there anymore. i tried to restore it as much as i could but have i come to an end?
i'd always been over concerned with your deals in life. people tell me that i have your heart and style. but as much as i love you, you sucked at one-to-one relationships, except with me. i have to face the fact that she's talking behind my back and HT is easy going when it come to pleasing them and he falls for everything they say and i neither want to be like him nor become my mother. i know that she's your beloved daughter and all, and i love her so much too. but she's kind of snob and she tears herself apart for everyone else besides herself. i want to be somewhere in between the two. but i'm lazy. in fact i'm too lazy to do anything. whereas i'm afraid that he's not gonna love me if he discovers my ugly thoughts but i can't even please my own parent, why should he love me?

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